Old Already? - The Prelude

I was walking out of the car with Isma, Kak Sofie, and Nurul towards the Maryam's cafe, after a brief silence; I mumbled to myself; "Dah tua rupanya kita ya."

Kak Sofie laughed at my abrupt comment, asking what had led me into such conclusion. Expalaining to them about how much things have changed since our first year at university, Isma noddingly agreed to my notion by putting the example of how naive we were those days waiting every day for bus to go back and forth from Mahallah to Kulliyyah until nowadays we're commuting with our own car. Kak Sofie smiled and said; "Well, we're getting older, not old - that's more appropriate."

I believe the incidents that happened for the last few weeks had shaken our solidarity, at times like those we begin to see clearly the true identity of each and everyone of us in face of adversity. Somehow deep in our heart, we begin to re-judge each other, clouded by hurts and disappointments we had to suffer. As I once wrote before, an incident like these blurred the lines we had established for each other, it disturbed the equilibrium of our friendship, and somehow it is, undeniably, hard and upsetting.

However, I also believe such incident happened for a reason (though Lutfi adamantly put that it should never happened) - I believe the conflict was the beginning of our next stage in friendship, the conflict challenged our unity with each other, and it confronted our individual personality - and to overcome all those; only sane, awake, and matured minds can do - which I believe all of us are. Yes, without doubt along the way we made mistakes we thought we never would do, but we're humans - and unless we accept the idea that we'll make mistakes over and over again - we'll never be able to forgive each other, and most importantly, to forgive ourselves.

I browsed through our previous posts, I was surprisingly amazed at how easy we were to each other before. Unlike these days where some of us seems to always have something to say to each other but we never did. Now then I realized how true Lutfi was when he said to Kak Sofie how 'sayang' it is for us to let go of the friendship for petty reasons we had been cultivating the last few weeks. What has gotten into all of us, I wonder?

Change, I presume.

We were all on the same track prior to the industrial training, which was not a problem to all of us because that was how we were when we knew each other since the beginning. However, after the practical, some changes are tremendous. Those who have changed are confused as how to go back to their previous identitites in the old days, and those who have not are equally confused as how to react to these friends who suddenly became stranger to them. No one is actually at fault, we are just at lost with the departing times that seems to be either too slow to some of us, or too fast to some other. And those who lost are sometimes scared, angry, disappointed, and sad - which is all what we are - emotional organisms.

It is without doubt however, hurts shall leave scars, and trust had to be rebuilt - but we're exceptional; we're organisms with not only emotions or minds, we're also endowed with soul; and only by learning from our previous mistakes and by making the best out of it shall we truly be characterized by that - spirited organisms; man, woman - human beings. I believe, as I already mentioned it before - the incident that had happened (and thankfully resolved) - happened for a reason - it happened because Allah wants us to be better persons; better individuals, and better friends to each other. And I have faith, and trust, and confidence in each of all of us; Arshana, Ann, Amer, Fauzan, Isma, Lutfi, Mun, Nurul, Sitot, and Kak Sofie - that all of us have become and will always be better person afterwards - no matter what happen.